Jan 31, 2020
Dear Diary, I am writing this as a way to remember that this is the day where I finally commit. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am finally going to be who I was made to be. Everything will be different after this. I will get the recognition I deserve, I will finally feel the love owed me, never again will I be made to feel lesser, or average.
Today, I will take my life into my own hands. Grab the bull by the horns. I will “Just do it” as Nike says. “The only way is through” as Under Armor says. As the great Lao Zhu says “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” This is the day I take my first step in the right direction.
I will no longer be held back by myself or my circumstances.
For too long I have put in long hours, only to be passed up for promotion.
For years I have wanted to see a change in my life, but deep down have been too flakey and lazy to commit.
For ages I’ve wanted to be seen as someone with influence.
To live up to my Capricorn Enneagram type 8 potential.
I’ve tried the pills, the fad diets, the self-help books. I’ve been mentored, I’ve meditated, I’ve medicated, I’ve fasted. Been on retreats, made treats, and committed to self-appointed treaties.
Nothing has worked, but I think I’ve finally found the cure to my brokenness.
After today I will no longer be controlled by my inner child. I will become the leader in my industry. I will fulfill all my husband’s desires, while staying on top of laundry, housework, all while cooking clean-vegan-gluten-free-low-carb-high-fat-locally-source meals. My friends will envy me, but still find me relatable. I will get more than 32 likes on my instagram photos.
People will see me and remark about how “put together” I am, but with such an air of “effortlessness.”
Like that one dude said in that old Matt Damon movie where he had blonde hair – “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”.
Or as Heath Ledger 😦 says in 10 Thing Is hate about you “Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”
I know what I want and deserve, and today I am going to get it.
Today – I am getting bangs.