At church a few weeks ago Billy, a UVA student, taught me a new word. Or, rather, a new utilization of the word “rotting.”
Rotting; To just do absolutely nothing, for hours, presumably coinciding with alcohol consumption.
I’ve felt as if I was rotting (sans alcohol) for many weeks and days now. Having finished up most of my work duties, completed the nursery, and wrapped up all travel I’m now just in a holding pattern until the baby arrives.
I mentioned my “rotting” state to Robbie this morning and he was kind to remind me that I’m not rotting, but ripening.
These last few lethargic, and often hormonally tinged, days before the baby arrives may be driving me crazy, but they do serve a purpose.
Etta’s adding on fat deposits and preparing herself for a healthy life outside my womb.
Instead of being bitter and resentful that I’m miserable and not sleeping well, I’m trying to practice gratitude with everything I’m able to do now. For the walks I can take, quick trips to the market, reading for hours uninterrupted, quiet baths at the end of the day.
Soon many of these things will become more complicated (not impossible, I hope!) and so I’ve been trying to be extra present and mindful during my transition to matrescence. Taking photos has helped me take a moment to be thankful for this time.
We’re 6 days away from her due date, I’m thinking I’ll go into labor a couple days after May 4th but who knows. For now I’m just going to enjoy this phase and maybe have another popsicle!